Opening Weekend: No Contest

Taylor Lautner tries to be an action hero. Jason Statham still is an action hero. Morgan Freeman gives a dolphin a new tail. And Brad Pitt changes the game of baseball.

Taylor Lautner takes a break from pining after Bella to star in a ridiculously convoluted action movie. Abduction looks like Jason Bourne: the High School Years… I am curious how this kid is already some kind of illusive teenage super-spy, but not curious enough to actually pay to see it.

The Rotten Tomatoes consensus describes Killer Elite as:

A rote, utterly disposable Jason Statham vehicle that just happens to have Clive Owen and Robert De Niro in it.

Sadly, I’m all for rote Jason Statham vehicles, especially when featuring  De Niro and Owen. So, I’ll definitely see it at some point.

When I first saw the poster for A Dolphin’s Tale, I thought it was some kind of joke. It just looks so cheesy and ridiculous. Apparently, it really is a movie… about a boy and his dolphin and the doctor who makes the prosthetic tale that will save her life. It’s all just too painfully cheery… like having Pollyanna smother you to death with a sun-shaped happy-face pillow. No thanks.

But in the end, no matter how gay-tham for Statham I am, I’m most interested in seeing Moneyball. I love movies about baseball. As Bryan mentioned already: this one stars Brad Pitt, was written by Steve Zaillian (Awakenings, Schindler’s List, Gangs of New York) and Aaron Sorkin (A Few Good Men, The Social Network), directed by Bennet Miller (Capote), and shot by Wally Pfister (who has shot everything Christopher Nolan’s directed since Memento). Yes please! My money is most definitely on Moneyball. What say you?


One response to “Opening Weekend: No Contest

  1. I’m going to see Moneyball tomorrow. The rest I don’t have real interest in. Good post!

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