Opening Weekend: What Is Best In Theaters?

Conan crushes his enemies. Anton Yelchin sees stakes driven before him. Jim Sturgess hears the lamentation of women, namely Anne Hathaway. And Robert Rodriguez adds aroma-scope to his Spy Kids arsenal.

I saw the first Spy Kids back in the day, and I didn’t hate it. But, as each sequel came out, they seemed more and more annoying. Spy Kids: All the Time in the World is no exception. It looks like the kind of movie that makes me glad I don’t have kids. Plus: there’s Aroma-Scope so you can smell the movie too. It looks like shit. I don’t need to smell it. I’ll pass.

In One Day, Jim Sturgess and Anne Hathaway spend the day of their college graduation together and form a lasting bond that carries us through two decades of their relationship, which we revisit on the anniversary of their first day together. As much as like Sturgess and Hathaway, I have no interest in One Day. It looks like a really schmaltzy Lifetime movie.

I am, however, a big fan of Conan the Barbarian . . . the original, anyway. I have seen nothing from the reboot that really thrills. I keep hearing about how great Jason Momoa is on Game of Thrones, which I’ve yet to see, but that doesn’t change the fact that this new Conan looks awful, all CGI and blue screen, more like a video game. But, since I do love the original so much, I have to see what they’ve done to Conan the Barbarian. So, I’ll see it eventually.

I’m more interested in the other remake opening this weekend, Fright Night. I love the original Fright Night, and unlike Conan, this remake looks like an interesting re-imagining, a slick refinement rather than a garish bastardization. Plus, Fright Night has a great cast, including: Anton Yelchin, Colin Farrell, David Tennant, Toni Colette, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse. I’m interested to see what Farrell does with one of my favorite vampires, Jerry Dandridge.

My money’s on Fright Night. That’s what’s best in life this weekend in theaters. What say you? How do you feel about the remakes of Conan the Barbarian and Fright Night?


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