What the Fourth Means to Me

The Fourth of July is more than an American holiday. Traditionally, it also coincides with the release of Hollywood’s big-budget blockbusters, the studios’ tent-pole movies. Sadly, this year the Hollywood studios seem to be pitching their tents for the sole benefit of 15-year-olds. [Editor's note: It's just like in Jaws, with Hollywood in the place of the town of Amity. Hollywood is a summer town, they need summer dollars. But, they would never act out of foolhardy desperation in attempt to make more money. Surely, they learned the lesson about the price of greed espoused in the original summer blockbuster...]

A Sucker Born Every Minute – Top Ten Vampires

Eclipse, the third installment of The Twilight Saga, came out Wednesday. I was going to review it, but just couldn’t bear paying $10 to subject myself to another round of Stephanie Meyer’s tired Disneyfication of vampire lore. Yes, I did see Twilight and New Moon, chalk it up to morbid curiosity, and the fact that the Los Angeles Public Library rents movies for free. Also, how can I critique something I know nothing about? It was research, mind-numbing research. And I’ll probably eventually see Eclipse, ’cause as much as I’m an opponent of Meyer’s brand of bedazzled bloodsuckers, I actually like David Slade (Hard Candy) and I’ve heard that his is the least painful of the series so far. If you are curious about Eclipse (it’s ok, I understand), head over to Film School Rejects and check out Neil Miller’s review.

So, with my evening free from Bella’s teenage angst and her aggravatingly chaste wavering between Broody McBrooderman and Tits McGee, I decided to watch some much more adult vampire fare and catch up on season two of True Blood. I love True Blood, and not only because it is the antithesis of Twilight, offering a much more satisfying vampire allegory in contrast to Twilight‘s restraint and abstinence; I think it’s actually a great show. Also, Bill would totally kick Edward’s ass, which led me to think about all the vampires out there who are infinitely more interesting than Edward. And frankly, there are a lot… hell, I’d take the Count from Sesame Street or Count Duckula over Edward any day. That being said, I present this list of my top ten favorite vampires.