Opening Weekend: Chance

Anna Faris takes a chance on her exes. Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz take a chance on their dream house. Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine take their chances against evil. There’s a chance Michael Shannon is losing his mind. Joseph Gordon-Levitt has a 50/50 chance to beat cancer. And there isn’t much chance of me ever seeing Bunraku, Margaret, or Courageous.

Opening Weekend: No Contest

Taylor Lautner tries to be an action hero. Jason Statham still is an action hero. Morgan Freeman gives a dolphin a new tail. And Brad Pitt changes the game of baseball.

Opening Weekend: Driving It Home

Ryan Gosling drives. James Marsden won’t allow violence against his house. And no one knows how Sarah Jessica Parker does it.

Opening Weekend: Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Nick Swardson plays a fledgling porn star, Tom Hardy and Joel Edgerton play brothers battling it out, Simon Pegg and Andy Serkis sell the dead, and we’re all gonna die when a deadly virus consumes the world. Fun times.

Opening Weekend: Sharks, Lies, and Videotape

This weekend two of my biggest fears–sharks and outer space–face off, while Helen Mirren, Tom Wilkinson, and Ciarán Hinds play retired covert operatives with a secret.

Opening Weekend: Be Afraid

Whether it’s sweet revenge served up by Zoe Saldana, Paul Rudd’s bumbling antics as the family idiot, or the creatures lurking in the dark recesses of Katie Holmes and Guy Pearce’s new house, this weekend’s movies all offer something to fear.

Opening Weekend: What Is Best In Theaters?

Conan crushes his enemies. Anton Yelchin sees stakes driven before him. Jim Sturgess hears the lamentation of women, namely Anne Hathaway. And Robert Rodriguez adds aroma-scope to his Spy Kids arsenal.

Opening Weekend: A Little Help From My Friends

Glee hits the big screen. Emma Stone empowers the help. Jesse Eisenberg and Aziz Ansari rob a bank. And Death’s design gets even more complicated.

Opening Weekend: A Change Is Gonna Come

Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman perform the classic Freaky Friday-esque switcheroo. Apes usurp man as the dominant species on the planet. A stray cat alters Miranda July and Hamish Linklater’s entire perspective on life. And I find it fitting that the words to Sam Cooke’s immortal classic ring in my ears. Yes, a change is gonna come . . .

Opening Weekend: Crazy Smurfin’ Cowboys

The Smurfs reach the big screen. Daniel Craig plays a taciturn gunslinger who takes on alien invaders in the old west. And Steve Carell becomes Ryan Gosling’s wingman.

Opening Weekend: You and the Captain can make it happen

Finally, Captain America hits the big screen and Friends with Benefits examines a little-known anthropological phenomenon: apparently, sex complicates things.

Opening Weekend: Coco

. . . brevity is the soul of wit.

Opening Weekend: Going Green?

This weekend Green Lantern faces what might just be his greatest foe yet . . . no, not Hector Hammond, not Sinestro, not even Parallax . . . but a far more formidable adversary: a family movie based on a classic children’s book that’s spanned generations since 1938.

Opening Weekend: Super Fantastic!

This weekend Woody Allen opens up to America a bit more. And some girl named Judy tries to have an awesome summer . . . which I don’t think she can actually manage since her movie opens opposite J.J. Abrams highly anticipated–and seemingly kid-friendly–Super 8.

Opening Weekend: Decision(s)

So, unless you happen to live near a major metropolitan area, you don’t really have a variety of movies opening this weekend. Whether the rest of the studios are scared or Marvel Studios just has that much sway these days, I can’t say. All I know is, as far as wide releases, Matthew Vaughn‘s X-Men prequel stands alone this weekend.